Dear John.....

I find that the most humane way to dump someone is the quick painful way. It may come as a shock and is no doubt hurtful but this will be short-lived if done properly. My advice if you have no intention of being friends with the person is to lock, then bolt the door behind you and throw away the key.

There is no point in trying to be nice and leaving it slightly ajar because if they are keen on you they will find a way to squeeze through any tiny sized gap that you leave. Be clear, straight to the point and honest. Do not be ambiguous or leave any room for comebacks or misunderstandings.

Unfortunately there are some who have Teflon-like qualities and (despite being told firmly that you are no longer interested and it is over) will insist on repeated attempts to engage in ‘friendly’ emails with you. I would be inclined to ignore such people. They will never get the message.

It is never pleasant to be at the receiving end of a Dear John letter (or rather email) however I would rather receive one like I have described than the disingenuous ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ rubbish that insults my intelligence. Like the one I received from one ex lover. When I read it, it actually made me laugh out loud. In the office. I wish I could publish it.

Why do people try to be too nice? Personally I do not want people to be too nice to me. I want them to be honest so I do not waste anymore time or energy on them. The long drawn out dumping is completely unnecessary.